.:: Living In Darkness ::.

2007-09-22T08:06:00.000-07:00

hiax.. sorry for not posting.. i am too busy with life i guess?
as usual it has been hectic.. i am stressed out.. END OF YEARS ARE HERE!!!
help me!!!
and i just got an injury on the wrist although i can still type this post and write..
but this a post of pain..while i am typing i feel like my wrist is about to fall apart..
i am going to see a chinese sinseh..
thank goodness.. i thought no one is going to bring to see a doctor.
maybe my hand is going to rot..
oh well..
i am very tired of my life.. i want my EOY's to end soon..
so i can truly go crazy all i like...
i feel tied down by stress and i am going to die of it..
Please help me..
Someone.. ANYONE!!!
well.. i have to study so gotta keep this post really short i guess...
tag before you leave... :)

2007-08-16T20:39:00.000-07:00

i am soory if i was being emo in sch or just being mean and straightforward.. i am just depressed recently and i am really stress.. i tend to forget myself when i am stress. i am soory my friends.. if i hurt your feelings i am sorry.. i think i am just going through a difficult month.. you know what month this is and those who know my condition please try to understand.. its really bugging me about this month things that goes around.. i hate it..
I am having mood swings recently and you can see that if your in my class.. one moment i am cranky the other i am totally depressed.. please don't keep things from me.. i know you all have secrets. that i won't probe but just say i am paranoid but i always feel that someone is talking about me.. its not something good either.. maybe its just about my sucky attiude? i don't know but if anyone of you don't like it, just tell me and remind me i am being too angry or having mood swings on the wrong people.. i don't know.. do anything but don't talk about me behind my back.. i can't stop what anyone says.. but if there is a prob with me please tell me and not gossip about me..i know i am being paranoid but i am in depression right now so i am sorry about all this stupid attitude of mine and i will try to go back to normal...

2007-08-08T21:26:00.000-07:00

haix.. i think i am losing it.. overpowered by this stupid life.. it just sucks.. i mena seriously.. why do u make stupid comments, bug my life, become part of my conversation topic, and act like the world revolves around u? i hate it.. i hate my life as a matter of fact.. my life isn't about listening to stupid comments.. my life is already sufferable ok... ok.. i am getting all emo.. i feel lyk telling you everything.. but all u do is to act as if u dun evn care.. my feelings jus get kept inside.. bottled up and unwanted.. well.. the glass that keeps my feelings are fragile you know.. it will break.. and it is about to break.. i am certain about this.. why am i to suffer this pain? i hate it.. i want to scream.. and i don't believe love exist.. sorry to those who are currently in "love".. because love don't last.. what's with the 'i love u'... dun get all lovey dovey just yet.. ok.. i am just depressed so don't come and get all worked up with me if u read this post.. i am just venting my anger and frustration on the keyboard cos no one cares.. so i have to tell something... so i guess it all ends up on the blog ok..i feel like killing myself? i don't know how i feel.. its like so numb inside... i think i am crazy.. give me some peace will ya..

2007-07-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

haix.. i am sorry for not posting.. but i have soooo much test to study... ahhh.. i am going mad.. why has my life turn out this way??? i can't handle the stress already.. my health to my knowledge, is failing.. haix..

life is so terrible..

i feel like breaking down.. why do i have to get myself in this MESS?!

jus wasting time and life away? what has become of me??? in a mess..
it feels lyk i am choking on the inside and the hectic lifestyle has got the better of me..
i can't control it neither can i hold on to opportunities.. they keep slipping away..
and everyday i have to tell myself to get a grip of myself.. i am tired.. tired of having no fun in life..i wanna slack.. but part of me holds me back.. i am failing my test.. this can't be happening..
nooooo.... i must pass.. this will be my goal.. i shall beat him.. muhahaha...

2007-06-07T19:59:00.000-07:00

posting. again.. still rushing hw.. but the more i rush the more homework seems to be undone...haix..got so many plans for the holidays but have to do homework first.. sad.. anyway.. tml have to go chiong homework again.. i have to do homework so that i can go out with my sis to play at frined's house, hang out with primary school friends... and more... so much plans so little time...haix.. onward ahead!!! stress... left chinese hw, which is gonna be completed tml, english newspaper article, and thank god that i have completed my maths homework, with thankies to estelle of course..now to relax till tml where i have to rush my homework again.. haix.. blog till here..g2g..

2007-06-04T18:19:00.000-07:00

back to posting.. sec three camp is over and we just found a new couple in the class.. i shall nt name who but i guess almost everyone knows that already.. its world news. i am so happy for them.. cos that girl is one of my closest friends.. feel their love people..haha.. recently i have been busy rushing homework and i made two new friends.. one of them is from my sis church.. the other is his friend.. anyway.. i went breakfast with my sis and both of them.. they are so funny.. we went to the nearby playground to play swing.. end up we were drenched in the rain.. it was fun.. haha.. my sis went a little crazy though...now i am jus sitting around with my maths homework all over the table.. trying to complete it by today.. i think its possible.. i am juz happy that i only left chinese homework, 10 english newspaper article, reading storybook and all the projects.. when are we going to do those projects?

I am so afraid we can't complete it though i know its just the start of the holidays.. haix.. i am crazy about hw.. going out with hw buddy to finish my hw soon...

2007-05-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

today got dance.. but i can only watch not dance.. haix i am so sad.. feel so sien.. why mus i be born wif tis pair of stoopid legs.. haix.. i must get better.. today was a lil crazy.. lei yi, wei zhen, jia yi, sebas and i were kinda getting a lil high during the inter-class competition.. we were lyk cheering lyk mad.. ok.. practically screaming all the while though.. was happy.. lei yi got a dizzy spell so she had to rest.. at least she is fine now.. take care of urself lei yi.. we had nothing to do in class today and were making a din of a noise in every lesson.. so sad mr lee's last day today.. he is really a good teacher.. i am glad to let him teach me.. hope he comes back to visit us..i am going to post till here.. nth much to say..

2007-05-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

juz manage to summarize most of my maths project.. i must thanks lei yi for helping me wif the rest.. thanx lei yi.. ur the best.. haha.. now in a relaxed mood... tml got tuition so cant stay up late.. recently rather tired.. oso dunno why.. but i have got great frenzs that perk me up.. i guess i feel rather broken.. my results aren't that good.. so i feel sad.. moreover i dun feel that i have put in my best.. so i have to be guilty.. oh well.. sad..but on the whole i am still ok.. thanks to all my good frenzs that i have.. bt i am still anti-social i think..haha.. cant communicate much wif my class.. i can only stick wif my 2d classmates.. haiz.. i wasn't lyk tat in the past.. was rather social then.. wat has gotten into me.. i have alot to say.. but i can't put it in words.. feel lyk shouting it all out.. bt i can only remain silent.. haiz.. life is hard to go by nowadays...got to go listen some music or else i think i will really fall apart..my leg is falling apart though..

2007-05-18T15:03:00.001-07:00

haiz.. how long since i blog.. well i have been kind of busy for the past few days.. exams are finally over and then the holidays are coming.. but there are still so much more projects coming.. stacking up sky high... oh well.. now doing my maths project. this is so boring and stressful.. have to sumarize like 9 or 15 pages of mathematics information into like 4 pages only.. haix.. stress.. i better get back to work.. have to srtive harder.. jia you!

2007-05-18T15:03:00.000-07:00

2007-04-17T22:06:00.001-07:00

Haix..i think only one person on this earth really cared about me.. and help me and listened to me cry my hearts out.. thats you, estelle... i think without her, my life is a misery.. i couldn't have move on till now... i really wanna thank her.. her motivation has help me.. haix.. i think no one else on this earth would ever care about me.. i was and never will be loved.. haix... i think i have nothing to say to a world without hope..

2007-04-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

hey although i do not blog everyday but i will try my best to post.. Danse Danseurs all the way for this SYF.. we aim for Gold and even better Gold with Honors.. yes.. tats wat we aim.. i certainly hope tat we get that.. now i am down wif a flu and realli sick.. my legs hurt and my bones are falling apart.. the doctor says that my soft bon on my knee cap is seriously injured and if i continue to dance, i may not be able to even walk anymore.. sad... but for this SYF, i will put in my 100% effort.. i believe every Danse Danseurs will do so too! pray tat my leg will onli break after that though.. everyone is my motivation to improve.. tat includes **... :) thinking of ** every minute of my life.. studying my chemistry.. i think i am gonna fail.. ahhh... die le.. physics too.. somebody save me.. i am pushing myself to the cliff's edge already.. i hardly even play, it's lyk evry minute of my life is studying.. luckily i still have time to post.. haha.. trying to think positive and be happy.. to all my beloved frenzs and family too.. g2g study.. thats abt all for now.. cya..

2007-04-12T04:43:00.001-07:00

kkies.. i am so sorry for not posting.. syf is round the corner.. Danse Danseurs all the way.. haha.. i think my blog is lyk dead.. cos i lyk dun even bother to blog.. who the heck invent blog in the first place? ok who cares?.. jus pray that everything is going well for everyone.. and ** is so adorable.. haha.. days are hard to pass.. i hope to makefriends wif my class guys.. it seems lyk there is some sorta miscommunication between me and them.. i better start correcting tat already.. anyways if i have offended anyone, i apologise.. lets not be strangers k?

2007-03-31T22:34:00.000-07:00

i love weekends! i just bought my sunglasses.. simply love it soooo much.. haha.. live nowadays is so boring.. syf is nearing.. stress.. leg falling apart bt hope to survive till aft syf then i will nt regret the fact that my leg will become useless.. haix.. god please be there for me.. protect me and all the dancers all the way through syf...

2007-03-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

ok.. i have to post sumthing.. it seems lyk a million decades that i never touch this blog.. oh well. i am simply too busy ok... for whoever who look at my blog and see nothing.. i am sorry.. anyway.. i have to save my leg.. it seems lyk my leg is falling apart.. let's hope it stays intact till after syf.. haix.. i am lyk the worst dancer.. bt i will try my best to dance.. even it still sucks.. i have too many problems i can't solve bt i am lucky to have my best friend around to help me.. and my girlfriends to back me up.. i am one lucky girl i guess.. i admit that i am totally anti-social.. some ppl may even dislike me for that.. bt i just dunno how to communicate i guess.. i dun wanna be anti-social and pls dun think i am one.. haha.. thats abt all i have to say i guess..

2006-11-02T22:37:00.000-08:00

Holidays are here but holiday homework is here too! oh how much i hate homework.. hopefully i could finish my homework before i go on cruise with my family.. cruise.. yay i cant wait for that day.. but b4 i can enjoy i have to pay the price for ultimate enjoyment.. i have to accomplish my homework first... and attend my cca pratices 4 the oncoming SYF competition so this is high price.. lets hope that time would fly during this time... maths.. nxt year i will hav to study more maths which means that i have to go 4 more maths tuition so to ensure that i will not fail... maths is my nemesis.. lifelong nemesis... cant i do my homework later?? i will finish my tuition homework so cant i finish it later??? as long i finish it b4 my tuition day and i will hand it in on time so stop reminding me abt homework!!!! ahh.... this is much better.. typing it down, throw my stress weight down.. hopefully i wont die of stress.. and my life is a disaster.. i hate it.. what is life anyway??

2006-10-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Just got over wif exams and recieved my terrible results... haix.. to talk abt smart people in my class.. they are smart and hardworking.. i am total opposite.. haopefully my overall results aint too bad...enjoyed my fiday wif my best pals and this saturday is gonna be a rocking weekend! yeah... i am hanging out wif my pals again.. take a break from the exams, results and shock... i am a little dissapointed in my results so trying to get my mood up again... oh well...more time to brood over some things and to refllect on my lousy performance in my exams..and other stuff...

2006-09-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

Friday 22nd September 2006 was the best day i ever had... we had the MacRitchie run.. i didnt run but i did go.. After the run i had the most fun...Estelle, jiawen, lei yi, ellin, jia yi, lloyd,wilson and i went to cafe cartel to have our dinner.. we had a great laugh... we forced lloyd to eat the bread a friendly waitress got us as the bread was free..he had to eat the main course bread and more than 4 glass of water.. he was lyk dead bloated.. we walked around bishan as we were trying to digest our food.. ellin went to swensens though her first thought was to eat fast food.. ellin are u tring to save money??? wilson and lloyd tried to run away while we were window shopping and jia yi and jia wen had to grab their bags.. the sight was totally hysterical.. lloyd joke at the table.. he was lucky i didnt spit the water i was drinking at him..haha...we went crazy while shopping and now kinda recaling, i thought we were childish.. haha.. but all the same we were once kid ya know... it was so much fun i didnt wanna go home though it was rather late.. i bet everyone didnt wanna go home.. i enjoyed every single part of it... it will be a memory i bet not one of us will forget...

2006-09-20T20:56:00.000-07:00

long time since i posted.. school life is uptight but i wishing everyone luck in their oncoming final year exams...well... i can see tat many are working hard to create a better future for themselves.. don't give up hopes everyone cos all of u can do it.. balance playtime and study time and u will feel less stress... don't just focus on your studies, u need to have fun to... :) everyone gets angry very easily recently...i guess is the stress.. many whom i know fell ill.. i pray that god will protect all of u and hope all of u will stay radiant with health...

2006-08-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

haiz... dunno wad to say but recently there had been t0o many conflicts in school tat ppl dun want it to happen.. i hate naming ppl so i wont say.. but its like tat pareson got his facts wrong and got everyone so unhappy when it should be the opposite... to make things worse... he clears things up and does it halfway.. wad's the point? juz say everything and get over it.. we must learn to oversee things... but we had a happy and enjoyable trip on 8th august.. it was memorial but i think i was totally concentrating on someone else in the movie.. it sucks when u have to totally sit right in front of the cinema and have to lift ur heads up to watch.. but i watch my friends play tat totally scary game "House of the Undead 4" , and xiaopang lost so quickly..haha.. estelle, u totally rock at tat game man... it was cool...but they have to rush 4 tuition... oh well.. tats abt all recently...

2006-07-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

haix..sch life is tough

social life at stake.. how??trying to be forgiving but i cant so how? today in sch many misunderstandings... no one tries to understand... all they do is to know wads in front of them and they take it as it is.. or maybe i am juz unclear when i speak so they neva understand or even give a damn about it.. so tired of the countless reminders but they juz dont listen.. nothing gets into their ears.. so sick of it.. they juz try to rebel knowing tat they had authorities to do so... haix...betta friends than enemies so i will forgive and forget...

2006-07-02T00:26:00.000-07:00

haix... this is meaningless... DaRk forces... Yes.. join the powers...

2006-06-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

woohoo!!! todae is so fun... i had my primary school class gathering... but my tuition ruined the mood... haix... dun go tuition better...haix at least not on a saturdae... its suppose to be a fun day on weekends...

2006-06-22T23:04:00.000-07:00

u have said enough and i shant hear anymore.. DaRk is time for sweet ReVeNgE...

2006-06-22T10:56:00.000-07:00

Yes! i hav finally complete my hw.. hurray!!! no more stress...stick stress bug has gone.. time for games and fun.. play time is here...

2006-06-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

days pass.. but stress stay like a sticky bug tat neva eva come off.. (get off me*)

2006-06-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

i am made use of by tat person...tat person shall be condemned.. hahahaha...

2006-06-21T06:21:00.000-07:00

have anyone finished all their projects??? it isnt due so soon but we have to finish it rite??? afterall it is hw...

2006-06-21T01:06:00.000-07:00

haix.. project undone...so sad...todae is so boring... i still havent finish my hw...stress...

2006-06-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

todae is the most boring day of my life... all i have to do is to complete chinese hw... staring at the chinese word is already a torture why muz i do hw..haix...

2006-06-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

holidaes are so boring... so many projects and homework...stress... now onli left a week to the end of holidaes...haix...

2006-06-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

i am a first time user.. pls be patient.. hope u lyk my blog.. =)